North Korea, Best Korea!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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