its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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