how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
