If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I think I just sharted jello shots
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
