Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't think brook has ever known best
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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