I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
