i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
