dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
