recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
