Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize