She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
