hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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