He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Your penis caused this!
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