thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
