I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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