Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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