Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
