I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
