I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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