I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
