I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
