Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
