I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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