I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
