i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
