great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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