It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
