Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
