worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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