you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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