"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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