Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
