thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
All I want is dick and wine.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
