How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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