Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
