good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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