They should really pass out barf bags in church
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
