Buhtt sex?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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