so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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