a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize