I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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