Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
is that a dick in a sweater?
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