winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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