it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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