tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
