soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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