me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
