Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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