Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
