i just had sex bonerless
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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