where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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