We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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