This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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