apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
