I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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