i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
