Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Operation Purity has been aborted
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
