Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My vagina just recognized that song.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
