im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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