dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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