No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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