Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
