god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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